{"id":40070,"date":"2023-12-10T01:51:51","date_gmt":"2023-12-10T01:51:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/masterskills.org\/blog\/nhung-cach-don-gian-giup-ban-kiem-che-con-gian.html"},"modified":"2023-12-13T08:01:02","modified_gmt":"2023-12-13T08:01:02","slug":"nhung-cach-don-gian-giup-ban-kiem-che-con-gian","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/masterskills.org\/blog\/nhung-cach-don-gian-giup-ban-kiem-che-con-gian.html","title":{"rendered":"Nh\u1eefng c\u00e1ch \u0111\u01a1n gi\u1ea3n gi\u00fap b\u1ea1n ki\u1ec1m ch\u1ebf c\u01a1n gi\u1eadn"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Theo nh\u00e0 t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc T.W. Smith, gi\u1eadn d\u1eef l\u00e0 c\u1ea3m x\u00fac kh\u00f4ng kh\u00f4ng h\u00e0i l\u00f2ng l\u00ean \u0111\u1ebfn \u0111\u1ec9nh \u0111i\u1ec3m, t\u1eeb vi\u1ec7c b\u1ecb ch\u1ecdc t\u1ee9c ho\u1eb7c kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu tr\u1edf n\u00ean m\u1ea5t b\u00ecnh t\u0129nh cho \u0111\u1ebfn c\u01a1n th\u1ecbnh n\u1ed9 kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t.<\/p>\n

M\u1ed7i ng\u00e0y, ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u0111\u1ed1i m\u1eb7t v\u1edbi r\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu khi\u1ebfn ch\u00fang ta c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y t\u1ee9c gi\u1eadn. Nguy\u00ean nh\u00e2n ph\u1ed5 bi\u1ebfn th\u01b0\u1eddng l\u00e0:<\/p>\n

V\u00e0 r\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u l\u00fd do kh\u00e1c n\u1eefa.<\/p>\n

M\u1ed7i ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u1ec1u gi\u1eadn d\u1eef theo nh\u1eefng c\u00e1ch kh\u00e1c nhau v\u00e0 v\u00ec nh\u1eefng l\u00fd do kh\u00e1c nhau. \u0110\u00f4i khi, \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 g\u00e2y ra s\u1ef1 kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu r\u1ea5t l\u1edbn v\u1edbi m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi nh\u01b0ng l\u1ea1i “kh\u00f4ng v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 g\u00ec” v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c v\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1ee3c l\u1ea1i. C\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c ch\u1ee7 quan \u0111\u00f3 th\u01b0\u1eddng khi\u1ebfn c\u01a1n gi\u1eadn tr\u1edf n\u00ean “v\u00f4 c\u1edb” v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c.<\/p>\n

T\u00e1c h\u1ea1i c\u1ee7a gi\u1eadn d\u1eef<\/h2>\n

\"C\u01a1n<\/p>\n

M\u1ed9t m\u1ee9c \u0111\u1ed9 th\u00edch h\u1ee3p c\u1ee7a s\u1ef1 gi\u1eadn d\u1eef s\u1ebd truy\u1ec1n n\u0103ng l\u01b0\u1ee3ng cho ch\u00fang ta \u0111\u1ec3 h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng \u0111\u00fang \u0111\u1eafn, gi\u1ea3i quy\u1ebft v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u00e0 ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng hi\u1ec7u qu\u1ea3.<\/p>\n

Tuy nhi\u00ean, khi \u0111\u00e3 v\u01b0\u1ee3t qua gi\u1edbi h\u1ea1n, gi\u1eadn d\u1eef s\u1ebd g\u00e2y ra nhi\u1ec1u h\u1eadu qu\u1ea3 ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c, \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t l\u00e0 trong m\u00f4i tr\u01b0\u1eddng l\u00e0m vi\u1ec7c. Ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ea1n, n\u00f3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 ph\u00e1 h\u1ee7y m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 v\u1edbi s\u1ebfp v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ed3ng nghi\u1ec7p<\/strong>, khi\u1ebfn c\u00e1c th\u00e0nh vi\u00ean trong m\u1ed9t nh\u00f3m m\u1ea5t ni\u1ec1m tin v\u00e0 s\u1ef1 t\u00f4n tr\u1ecdng v\u00e0o nhau. Th\u1eadm ch\u00ed, n\u1ebfu c\u01a1n gi\u1eadn tu\u00f4n tr\u00e0o c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 khi\u1ebfn m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi “n\u1ed5i \u0111\u00f3a” v\u00e0 c\u00f3 nh\u1eefng h\u00e0nh vi kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 ch\u1ea5p nh\u1eadn \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c. M\u1ed9t m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 khi \u0111\u00e3 tr\u1ea3i qua \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y th\u01b0\u1eddng r\u1ea5t kh\u00f3 h\u00e0n g\u1eafn.<\/p>\n

Gi\u1eadn d\u1eef c\u0169ng khi\u1ebfn ch\u00fang ta kh\u00f3 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u0111\u01b0a ra \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c nh\u1eefng quy\u1ebft \u0111\u1ecbnh \u0111\u00fang \u0111\u1eafn v\u00e0 suy ngh\u0129 m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch s\u00e1ng t\u1ea1o<\/strong>, khi\u1ebfn n\u0103ng su\u1ea5t l\u00e0m vi\u1ec7c b\u1ecb gi\u1ea3m s\u00fat nhanh ch\u00f3ng.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Gi\u1eadn d\u1eef c\u0169ng g\u00e2y ra nh\u1eefng t\u00e1c \u0111\u1ed9ng x\u1ea5u \u0111\u1ed1i v\u1edbi s\u1ee9c kh\u1ecfe. M\u1ed9t nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u cho th\u1ea5y r\u1eb1ng nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi gi\u1eadn d\u1eef th\u01b0\u1eddng xuy\u00ean nhi\u1ec1u kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng s\u1ebd tr\u1ea3i qua c\u00e1c c\u01a1n \u0111au do b\u1ec7nh tim m\u1ea1ch v\u00e0nh (coronary heart disease) g\u00e2y ra, r\u1ed1i lo\u1ea1n \u0103n u\u1ed1ng v\u00e0 b\u00e9o ph\u00ec. Nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u n\u00e0y c\u0169ng ph\u00e1t hi\u1ec7n ra m\u1ed1i t\u01b0\u01a1ng quan gi\u1eefa gi\u1eadn d\u1eef v\u00e0 ch\u1ebft s\u1edbm<\/strong>. Ngo\u00e0i ra, n\u00f3ng gi\u1eadn, m\u1ea5t b\u00ecnh t\u0129nh c\u0169ng \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c ch\u1ee9ng minh l\u00e0 c\u00f3 m\u1ed1i li\u00ean h\u1ec7 v\u1edbi c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c hay lo l\u1eafng v\u00e0 th\u1ea5t v\u1ecdng.<\/strong><\/p>\n

C\u00e1c ki\u1ec3u gi\u1eadn d\u1eef v\u00e0 c\u00e1ch ki\u1ec1m ch\u1ebf<\/h2>\n

Ki\u1ec3u 1: D\u1ec5 b\u00f9ng n\u1ed5<\/h3>\n

Nh\u1eadn bi\u1ebft: “N\u1ebfu anh c\u00f2n v\u1ee9t \u00e1o gi\u1eefa s\u00e0n nh\u00e0 m\u1ed9t l\u1ea7n n\u1eefa, t\u00f4i s\u1ebd b\u1ecf \u0111i!”.<\/em> Khi \u1edf tr\u1ea1ng th\u00e1i gi\u1eadn d\u1eef n\u00e0y, b\u1ea1n th\u01b0\u1eddng c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y “t\u1ee9c n\u01b0\u1edbc v\u1ee1 b\u1edd”<\/em>, kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 ch\u1ecbu \u0111\u1ef1ng th\u00eam gi\u1ed1ng nh\u01b0 m\u1ed9t ng\u1ecdn n\u00fai l\u1eeda \u0111\u00e3 \u0111\u1ebfn th\u1eddi \u0111i\u1ec3m phun tr\u00e0o. Tuy nhi\u00ean, khi b\u1ea1n “b\u00f9ng n\u1ed5”, t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u1ec1u c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng tr\u00e1nh m\u1eb7t b\u1ea1n, ch\u1eb3ng ai mu\u1ed1n \u0111\u1ee5ng ch\u1ea1m g\u00ec \u0111\u1ebfn b\u1ea1n c\u1ea3.<\/p>\n

\"C\u01a1n<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

N\u1ebfu ch\u01b0a bao gi\u1edd \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c h\u01b0\u1edbng d\u1eabn c\u00e1ch ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t s\u1ef1 gi\u1eadn d\u1eef, b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd \u0111\u1ec3 cho c\u01a1n gi\u1eadn l\u1ea5n \u00e1t. G\u1ea7n nh\u01b0 b\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 n\u00e0o \u0111\u1ed3ng c\u1ea3m hay tha th\u1ee9 cho \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng t\u1ea1i th\u1eddi \u0111i\u1ec3m \u0111\u00f3 v\u00e0 khi c\u1ea3m gi\u00e1c n\u00f3ng gi\u1eadn l\u00ean \u0111\u1ebfn \u0111\u1ec9nh \u0111i\u1ec3m, nhi\u1ec1u kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng, b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd l\u00e0m nh\u1eefng th\u1ee9 m\u00e0 s\u1edbm th\u00f4i, b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd ph\u1ea3i h\u1ed1i h\u1eadn.<\/p>\n

C\u00e1ch ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ti\u1ebfn s\u0129 Ronald Potter-Efron \u2013 chuy\u00ean gia ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t gi\u1eadn d\u1eef t\u1ea1i Eau Clair, Winsconsin v\u00e0 \u0111\u1ed3ng t\u00e1c gi\u1ea3 c\u1ee7a cu\u1ed1n “Letting Go Of Anger”<\/em> (t\u1ea1m d\u1ecbch: Lo\u1ea1i b\u1ecf s\u1ef1 gi\u1eadn d\u1eef) cho bi\u1ebft: “Nghi\u00ean c\u1ee9u ch\u1ec9 ra r\u1eb1ng ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng gi\u1eadn d\u1eef thu\u1ed9c v\u1ec1 th\u1ea7n kinh k\u00e9o d\u00e0i \u00edt h\u01a1n 2 gi\u00e2y”<\/em>. Ch\u00ednh v\u00ec \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y m\u00e0 mu\u1ed1n ki\u1ec1m ch\u1ebf c\u01a1n gi\u1eadn, ch\u00fang ta ph\u1ea3i th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n m\u1ed9t s\u1ef1 cam k\u1ebft v\u00e0 c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 \u0111\u1ebfm t\u1eeb 1 \u0111\u1ebfn 10 khi c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y s\u1eafp b\u00f9ng ph\u00e1t m\u1ed9t c\u01a1n th\u1ecbnh n\u1ed9.<\/p>\n

L\u00e0m ch\u1ee7 c\u1ea3m x\u00fac c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n. L\u00fac c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y gi\u1eadn d\u1eef, b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 n\u00f3i ra m\u1ed9t \u0111i\u1ec1u g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 \u0111\u1ec3 nh\u1eadn th\u1ee9c v\u1ec1 s\u1ef1 kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu, ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ea1n nh\u01b0 “t\u00f4i th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 lo l\u1eafng v\u1ec1 h\u00e0nh vi c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh”<\/em> s\u1ebd hi\u1ec7u qu\u1ea3 h\u01a1n r\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u so v\u1edbi ch\u1ec9 t\u1eadp trung v\u00e0o h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng v\u00e0 suy ngh\u0129.<\/p>\n

Ki\u1ec3u 2: H\u1ea1 th\u1ea5p b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n<\/h3>\n

Nh\u1eadn bi\u1ebft: “\u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 l\u1ed7i c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i. T\u00f4i ch\u1eb3ng ra g\u00ec c\u1ea3”.<\/em> B\u1ea1n t\u00ecm m\u1ecdi c\u00e1ch \u0111\u1ec3 t\u1ef1 \u0111\u1ed5 l\u1ed7i cho b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u00ecnh, l\u1ea7n n\u00e0o c\u0169ng nh\u01b0 v\u1eady.<\/p>\n

\"C\u01a1n<\/p>\n

C\u00f3 l\u1ebd, thi tho\u1ea3ng b\u1ea1n c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y t\u1ef1 gi\u1eadn d\u1eef v\u1edbi ch\u00ednh m\u00ecnh h\u01a1n l\u00e0 tr\u00fat gi\u1eadn sang ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c. Tuy nhi\u00ean, li\u00ean t\u1ee5c suy ngh\u0129 ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c nh\u01b0 v\u1eady c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 c\u00e0ng khi\u1ebfn b\u1ea1n th\u1ea5t v\u1ecdng v\u00e0 kh\u1ee7ng ho\u1ea3ng.<\/p>\n

C\u00e1ch ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t:<\/strong><\/p>\n

M\u1ed7i l\u1ea7n nh\u01b0 v\u1eady, b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 t\u1ef1 h\u1ecfi ch\u00ednh m\u00ecnh “Ai n\u00f3i r\u1eb1ng t\u00f4i ph\u1ea3i ch\u1ecbu tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m cho \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y?”<\/em>, “T\u00f4i c\u00f3 th\u1ef1c s\u1ef1 tin nh\u01b0 v\u1eady kh\u00f4ng?”.<\/em> Thay v\u00ec nh\u1eadn t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 tr\u00e1ch nhi\u1ec7m, h\u00e3y c\u1ea3m \u01a1n ch\u00ednh m\u00ecnh v\u00ec \u0111\u00e3 nh\u1eadn ra g\u1ed1c r\u1ec5 c\u1ee7a v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1.<\/p>\n

L\u1eadp m\u1ed9t danh s\u00e1ch nh\u1eefng \u0111i\u1ec1u t\u1ed1t \u0111\u1eb9p v\u1ec1 b\u1ea1n v\u00e0 ngh\u0129 \u0111\u1ebfn ch\u00fang m\u1ed7i khi b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 \u00fd \u0111\u1ecbnh \u0111\u1ed5 l\u1ed7i cho b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u00ecnh. Ngo\u00e0i ra, h\u00e3y t\u00ecm \u0111\u1ebfn m\u1ed9t chuy\u00ean gia n\u1ebfu b\u1ea1n c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y c\u1ea7n ng\u01b0\u1eddi h\u1ed7 tr\u1ee3.<\/p>\n

Ki\u1ec3u 3: L\u1ea3ng tr\u00e1nh<\/h3>\n

Nh\u1eadn bi\u1ebft: “T\u00f4i \u1ed5n. T\u00f4i \u1ed5n. M\u1ecdi th\u1ee9 \u0111\u1ec1u \u1ed5n”<\/em>. Ngay c\u1ea3 khi “c\u00f3 m\u1ed9t qu\u1ea3 c\u1ea7u l\u1eeda \u0111ang ch\u00e1y”<\/em> trong \u0111\u1ea7u b\u1ea1n th\u00ec b\u1ea1n v\u1eabn c\u1ed1 t\u1ecf ra vui v\u1ebb v\u00e0 gi\u1ea5u \u0111i m\u1ecdi bi\u1ec3u hi\u1ec7n t\u1ee9c gi\u1eadn c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh. \u0110\u00f3 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 m\u1ed9t d\u1ea1ng c\u1ee7a xung h\u1ea5n \u2013 th\u1ee5 \u0111\u1ed9ng (passive aggression \u2013 x\u1ea3y ra khi m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u1ed1 che gi\u1ea5u c\u1ea3m x\u00fac th\u1eadt, l\u00e0m nh\u01b0ng kh\u00f4ng th\u00edch hay kh\u00f4ng h\u00e0i l\u00f2ng; s\u1ef1 gi\u1eadn d\u1eef \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n qua h\u00e0nh vi, c\u1eed ch\u1ec9 hay s\u1ef1 ch\u1ed1ng \u0111\u1ed1i ng\u1ea7m v\u1edbi \u0111\u1ed1i t\u01b0\u1ee3ng). \u0110\u00f3 l\u00e0 h\u00e0nh vi “gi\u1ebft ch\u1ebft” xung h\u1ea5n.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

\"C\u01a1n<\/p>\n

Ph\u1ee5 n\u1eef th\u01b0\u1eddng th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n s\u1ef1 gi\u1eadn d\u1eef theo c\u00e1ch n\u00e0y. H\u1ecd lu\u00f4n t\u1ecf ra nh\u00e3 nh\u1eb7n, hi\u1ec1n l\u00e0nh, c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng kh\u00f4ng t\u1ee9c gi\u1eadn v\u00ec h\u1ecd s\u1ee3 m\u1ea5t uy t\u00edn, b\u1ea1n b\u00e8, c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c v\u00e0 khi\u1ebfn gia \u0111\u00ecnh kh\u00f4ng h\u1ea1nh ph\u00fac.<\/p>\n

Ch\u1ee9c n\u0103ng ch\u00ednh c\u1ee7a gi\u1eadn d\u1eef l\u00e0 \u0111\u1ec3 ch\u00fang ta nh\u1eadn ra r\u1eb1ng c\u00f3 th\u1ee9 g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 kh\u00f4ng \u1ed5n \u0111\u00e3 x\u1ea3y ra v\u00e0 th\u00fac \u0111\u1ea9y s\u1ef1 h\u00f2a gi\u1ea3i. N\u1ebfu l\u1edd \u0111i nh\u1eefng d\u1ea5u hi\u1ec7u n\u00e0y, b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd t\u1ef1 \u0111\u1ed1i x\u1eed v\u1edbi b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n m\u00ecnh theo c\u00e1ch r\u1ea5t ti\u00eau c\u1ef1c, ng\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u00e3i b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n v\u00e0 t\u1ef1 khi\u1ebfn m\u00ecnh \u0111au \u0111\u1edbn nh\u1eb1m m\u1ee5c \u0111\u00edch gi\u1ea3i t\u1ecfa nh\u1eefng phi\u1ec1n mu\u1ed9n hay \u0111au kh\u1ed5 n\u00e0o \u0111\u00f3 (self-harm).<\/p>\n

C\u00e1ch ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t:<\/strong><\/p>\n

H\u00e3y t\u1ef1 h\u1ecfi b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n: “C\u00f3 \u1ed5n kh\u00f4ng n\u1ebfu nh\u00e2n vi\u00ean c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i r\u1eddi kh\u1ecfi ph\u00f2ng b\u1ea5t c\u1ee9 l\u00fac n\u00e0o h\u1ecd mu\u1ed1n? C\u00f3 \u1ed5n kh\u00f4ng n\u1ebfu anh \u1ea5y \u0111i ra ngo\u00e0i ch\u01a1i th\u1ec3 thao v\u00e0o m\u1ed7i cu\u1ed1i tu\u1ea7n?”<\/em> N\u1ebfu b\u1ea1n th\u1eb3ng th\u1eafn th\u00ec c\u00e2u tr\u1ea3 l\u1eddi t\u1ed1t nh\u1ea5t cho nh\u1eefng c\u00e2u h\u1ecfi n\u00e0y c\u00f3 kh\u1ea3 n\u0103ng l\u00e0 “Kh\u00f4ng h\u1ec1 \u1ed5n ch\u00fat n\u00e0o c\u1ea3!”<\/em> Nh\u1eadn d\u1ea1ng th\u1ee9 g\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 kh\u00f4ng \u1ed5n \u0111ang di\u1ec5n ra l\u00e0 b\u01b0\u1edbc \u0111\u1ea7u ti\u00ean \u0111\u1ec3 khi\u1ebfn m\u1ecdi th\u1ee9 tr\u1edf v\u1ec1 tr\u1ea1ng th\u00e1i c\u00e2n b\u1eb1ng.<\/p>\n

T\u01b0\u1edfng t\u01b0\u1ee3ng m\u1ed9t ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1ea1n c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n \u0111ang l\u00e0m vi\u1ec7c qu\u00e1 s\u1ee9c, b\u1ecb ng\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u00e3i ho\u1eb7c ph\u1edbt l\u1edd. C\u00e1ch ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng th\u00edch h\u1ee3p nh\u1ea5t c\u1ee7a h\u1ecd l\u00e0 g\u00ec? H\u00e3y li\u1ec7t k\u00ea m\u1ed9t danh s\u00e1ch c\u00e1c h\u00e0nh \u0111\u1ed9ng m\u00e0 c\u00f4 \u1ea5y c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n, sau \u0111\u00f3 t\u1ef1 h\u1ecfi t\u1ea1i sao ch\u00fang l\u1ea1i \u1ed5n v\u1edbi c\u00f4 \u1ea5y khi th\u1ef1c hi\u1ec7n c\u00e1c h\u00e0nh vi \u0111\u00f3.<\/p>\n

H\u00e3y n\u00f3i chuy\u1ec7n tr\u1ef1c ti\u1ebfp v\u1edbi \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng \u2013 m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch t\u00ednh c\u1ef1c v\u00e0 mang t\u00ednh x\u00e2y d\u1ef1ng. C\u00f3 th\u1ec3, h\u1ecd s\u1ebd b\u1ea5t ng\u1edd ho\u1eb7c gi\u1eadn d\u1eef v\u1edbi nh\u1eefng g\u00ec b\u1ea1n n\u00f3i nh\u01b0ng r\u1ed3i b\u1ea1n ch\u1eafc ch\u1eafn s\u1ebd v\u01b0\u1ee3t qua \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c. “L\u1ea9n tr\u00e1nh th\u01b0\u1eddng s\u1ebd h\u1ee7y ho\u1ea1i gia \u0111\u00ecnh v\u00e0 t\u00ecnh b\u1ea1n nhi\u1ec1u h\u01a1n l\u00e0 t\u1ecf ra t\u1ee9c gi\u1eadn”,<\/em> Potter-Efron cho bi\u1ebft.<\/p>\n

Ki\u1ec3u 4: Ch\u1ebf nh\u1ea1o<\/h3>\n

Nh\u1eadn bi\u1ebft: “B\u1ea1n \u0111\u1ebfn mu\u1ed9n th\u00ec c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng sao. T\u00f4i l\u1ea1i c\u00f3 th\u1eddi gian \u0111\u1ecdc menu \u0111\u1ebfn 40 l\u1ea7n”<\/em>. B\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng n\u00f3i th\u1eb3ng m\u00e0 l\u1ea1i “\u0111i \u0111\u01b0\u1eddng v\u00f2ng” v\u1edbi n\u1ee5 c\u01b0\u1eddi n\u1eeda mi\u1ec7ng.<\/p>\n

\"C\u01a1n<\/p>\n

Nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n s\u1ef1 gi\u1eadn d\u1eef theo c\u00e1ch n\u00e0y tin r\u1eb1ng n\u1ebfu bi\u1ec3u l\u1ed9 c\u1ea3m x\u00fac kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu m\u1ed9t c\u00e1ch tr\u1ef1c ti\u1ebfp c\u00f3 v\u1ebb kh\u00f4ng hay ho g\u00ec n\u00ean h\u1ecd quy\u1ebft \u0111\u1ecbnh s\u1eed d\u1ee5ng c\u00e1ch gi\u00e1n ti\u1ebfp. N\u1ebfu nh\u01b0 c\u00e2u chuy\u1ec7n tr\u1edf n\u00ean c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng th\u00ec \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 l\u1ed7i c\u1ee7a \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng ch\u1ee9 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i h\u1ecd. Tuy nhi\u00ean, th\u1ef1c t\u1ebf th\u00ec ch\u00ednh b\u1ea1n m\u1edbi l\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111ang khi\u1ebfn cho t\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng tr\u1edf n\u00ean t\u1ed3i t\u1ec7 h\u01a1n ch\u1ee9 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i ai kh\u00e1c.<\/p>\n

M\u1eb7c d\u00f9 b\u1ea1n c\u1ed1 che \u0111\u1eady c\u1ea3m x\u00fac b\u1eb1ng s\u1ef1 h\u00f3m h\u1ec9nh n\u1eeda v\u1eddi nh\u01b0ng \u0111\u00f3 l\u1ea1i l\u00e0 c\u00e1ch th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n \u0111\u1ea7y chua cay c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 h\u1ee7y ho\u1ea1i nh\u1eefng m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7. D\u00f9 b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 c\u1ed1 c\u00e3i r\u1eb1ng \u0111i\u1ec1u m\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c cho l\u00e0 nh\u1ea1o b\u00e1ng \u0111\u00f3 l\u00e0 s\u1ef1 h\u00e0i h\u01b0\u1edbc m\u00e0 b\u1ea1n s\u1eed d\u1ee5ng \u0111\u1ec3 l\u00e0m d\u1ecbu c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng nh\u01b0ng m\u1ed7i t\u1eeb b\u1ea1n n\u00f3i ra \u0111\u1ec1u cho th\u1ea5y s\u1ef1 m\u1ec9a mai v\u00f4 c\u00f9ng s\u00e2u s\u1eafc.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/div>\n

C\u00e1ch ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Theo Todd: “Ch\u1ebf nh\u1ea1o l\u00e0 c\u00e1ch giao ti\u1ebfp mang h\u01a1i h\u01b0\u1edbng xung h\u1ea5n \u2013 th\u1ee5 \u0111\u1ed9ng”.<\/em> Do v\u1eady, h\u00e3y s\u1eed d\u1ee5ng nh\u1eefng t\u1eeb ng\u1eef di\u1ec5n t\u1ea3 c\u1ea3m x\u00fac th\u1eadt c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n, \u0111\u1eebng c\u1ed1 che \u0111\u1eady ch\u00fang. B\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 n\u00f3i: “T\u00f4i mong mu\u1ed1n b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd c\u1ed1 g\u1eafng \u0111\u1ebfn \u0111\u00fang gi\u1edd, \u0111\u1eb7c bi\u1ec7t l\u00e0 khi b\u1ea1n \u0111\u1ec1u bi\u1ebft r\u1eb1ng ch\u00fang ta c\u00f3 th\u1eddi gian gi\u1edbi h\u1ea1n”.<\/em><\/p>\n

H\u00e3y r\u00f5 r\u00e0ng v\u00e0 d\u1ee9t kho\u00e1t, nh\u1ea5t l\u00e0 v\u1edbi tr\u1ebb nh\u1ecf. \u0110\u1ed3ng th\u1eddi, n\u1ebfu v\u1eabn ch\u01b0a ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c l\u1eddi n\u00f3i c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh th\u00ec b\u1ea1n h\u00e3y d\u00e0nh th\u1eddi gian t\u1eadp luy\u1ec7n.<\/p>\n

Ki\u1ec3u 5: Xung h\u1ea5n \u2013 th\u1ee5 \u0111\u1ed9ng<\/h3>\n

Nh\u1eadn bi\u1ebft: “Oops. T\u00f4i \u0111\u00e3 x\u00f3a t\u1ea5t c\u1ea3 nh\u1eefng game b\u00f3ng ch\u00e0y c\u1ed5 \u0111i\u1ec3n t\u1eeb Tivo sao?”<\/em> B\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng c\u1ed1 gi\u1ea5u hay che \u0111\u1eady s\u1ef1 gi\u1eadn d\u1eef nh\u01b0ng b\u1ea1n th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n n\u00f3 theo c\u00e1ch c\u00f3 v\u1ebb nh\u01b0 v\u1eady.<\/p>\n

\"C\u01a1n<\/p>\n

B\u1ea1n kh\u00f4ng th\u00edch \u0111\u1ed1i \u0111\u1ea5u v\u1edbi ng\u01b0\u1eddi kh\u00e1c nh\u01b0ng c\u0169ng kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i l\u00e0 ng\u01b0\u1eddi d\u1ec5 thuy\u1ebft ph\u1ee5c.“M\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi b\u1eaft \u0111\u1ea7u t\u00ecm c\u00e1ch gi\u1ea5u gi\u1ebfm c\u01a1n gi\u1eadn c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh khi h\u1ecd tin r\u1eb1ng m\u00ecnh kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 \u0111\u1ea5u l\u1ea1i \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c \u0111\u1ed1i ph\u01b0\u01a1ng”<\/em> Potter-Efron kh\u1eb3ng \u0111\u1ecbnh. Nh\u1eefng ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00f3 b\u1ea3n t\u00ednh th\u1eadn tr\u1ecdng s\u1ebd s\u1eed d\u1ee5ng ki\u1ec3u gi\u1eadn d\u1eef n\u00e0y khi h\u1ecd c\u1ea3m th\u1ea5y b\u1ecb \u0111\u1ea9y ra ngo\u00e0i v\u00f9ng an to\u00e0n.<\/p>\n

B\u1ea1n \u0111ang khi\u1ebfn m\u1ecdi ng\u01b0\u1eddi th\u1ea5t v\u1ecdng. T\u00ecnh hu\u1ed1ng c\u00e0ng tr\u1edf n\u00ean t\u1ec7 h\u01a1n n\u1ebfu ai c\u0169ng l\u1ef1a ch\u1ecdn c\u01b0 x\u1eed theo c\u00e1ch nh\u01b0 v\u1eady.<\/p>\n

C\u00e1ch ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t:<\/strong><\/p>\n

H\u00e3y “c\u1ea5p ph\u00e9p” cho b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n \u0111\u1ec3 \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c gi\u1eadn d\u1eef. T\u1ef1 n\u00f3i v\u1edbi b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n r\u1eb1ng che gi\u1ea5u s\u1ef1 gi\u1eadn d\u1eef l\u00e0 c\u00e1ch khi\u1ebfn cho tinh th\u1ea7n tr\u1edf n\u00ean m\u1ec7t m\u1ecfi v\u00ec d\u1ed3n \u00e9p m\u1ecdi th\u1ee9 v\u00e0o trong ng\u01b0\u1eddi. Lu\u00f4n nh\u1edb m\u1ed9t “c\u00e2u th\u1ea7n ch\u00fa” r\u1eb1ng: s\u1ef1 d\u1ee9t kho\u00e1t l\u00e0 \u0111i\u1ec1u t\u1ed1t, trong khi xung h\u1ea5n (cho d\u00f9 th\u1ee5 \u0111\u1ed9ng hay kh\u00f4ng) ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ec1 t\u1ed1t \u0111\u1eb9p g\u00ec c\u1ea3.<\/p>\n

H\u00e3y t\u00ecm c\u00e1ch b\u00e0o ch\u1eefa cho b\u1ea3n th\u00e2n n\u1ebfu b\u1ea1n \u0111\u00fang, ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ea1n nh\u01b0 n\u00f3i v\u1edbi \u00f4ng ch\u1ee7 r\u1eb1ng kh\u1ed1i l\u01b0\u1ee3ng c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c qu\u00e1 nhi\u1ec1u hay b\u1ea1n \u0111ang g\u1eb7p v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u1edbi \u0111\u1ed3ng nghi\u1ec7p ng\u1ed3i b\u00ean c\u1ea1nh v\u00e0 c\u1ea7n s\u1ef1 h\u1ed7 tr\u1ee3.<\/p>\n

H\u1ecdc c\u00e1ch ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t, ch\u1eb3ng h\u1ea1n nh\u01b0 b\u1ea1n c\u00f3 th\u1ec3 t\u00ecm m\u1ed9t c\u00f4ng vi\u1ec7c l\u00e0m th\u00eam n\u1ebfu t\u00ecnh h\u00ecnh t\u00e0i ch\u00ednh c\u1ee7a gia \u0111\u00ecnh g\u1eb7p v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 thay v\u00ec khi\u1ebfn cho m\u1ed1i quan h\u1ec7 v\u1ee3 ch\u1ed3ng c\u00e0ng tr\u1edf n\u00ean c\u0103ng th\u1eb3ng.<\/p>\n

Ki\u1ec3u 6: Kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu theo th\u00f3i quen<\/h3>\n

Nh\u1eadn bi\u1ebft: “T\u00f4i th\u1ea5y m\u1ec7t m\u1ecfi v\u00ec b\u1ea1n c\u1ee9 li\u00ean t\u1ee5c m\u01b0\u1ee3n d\u1eadp ghim c\u1ee7a t\u00f4i r\u1ed3i \u0111\u1ea5y! Mua m\u00e0 d\u00f9ng \u0111i nh\u00e9”.<\/em> C\u00e1ch ph\u1ea3n \u1ee9ng n\u00e0y d\u01b0\u1eddng nh\u01b0 \u0111\u00e3 tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh m\u1eb7c \u0111\u1ecbnh v\u00e0 ch\u1ec9 bi\u1ebfn m\u1ea5t khi b\u1ea1n ch\u1ee7 \u0111\u1ed9ng kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 hi\u1ec7n n\u00f3.<\/p>\n

\"C\u01a1n<\/p>\n

C\u01a1n gi\u1eadn theo th\u00f3i quen n\u00e0y th\u01b0\u1eddng xu\u1ea5t ph\u00e1t t\u1eeb vi\u1ec7c b\u1ea1n g\u1eb7p v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 v\u00e0 kh\u00f4ng bi\u1ebft l\u00e0m c\u00e1ch n\u00e0o \u0111\u1ec3 gi\u1ea3i t\u1ecfa n\u00f3 ho\u1eb7c \u0111\u1ed3ng nghi\u1ec7p \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c khen ng\u1ee3i, \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c th\u0103ng ch\u1ee9c, xu\u1ea5t s\u1eafc h\u01a1n b\u1ea1n, khi\u1ebfn b\u1ea1n r\u1ea5t kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu.<\/p>\n

H\u1eadu qu\u1ea3 c\u1ee7a \u0111i\u1ec1u n\u00e0y l\u00e0 g\u00ec? Ch\u1eb3ng ai mu\u1ed1n l\u1ea1i g\u1ea7n b\u1ea1n n\u1eefa v\u00e0 b\u1ea1n d\u1ea7n d\u1ea7n tr\u1edf th\u00e0nh ng\u01b0\u1eddi c\u00f4 \u0111\u1ed9c.<\/p>\n

C\u00e1ch ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Nh\u1eadn bi\u1ebft l\u00fd do v\u00ec sao b\u1ea1n ph\u00e1t c\u00e1u? N\u1ebfu t\u00ecm hi\u1ec3u s\u00e2u h\u01a1n c\u1ea3m x\u00fac c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh, b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd nh\u1eadn ra r\u1eb1ng c\u0103n nguy\u00ean c\u1ee7a v\u1ea5n \u0111\u1ec1 kh\u00f4ng ph\u1ea3i n\u1eb1m \u1edf vi\u1ec7c ng\u01b0\u1eddi \u0111\u00f3 m\u01b0\u1ee3n \u0111\u1ed3 c\u1ee7a b\u1ea1n.<\/p>\n

T\u01b0\u1edfng t\u01b0\u1ee3ng b\u1ea1n \u0111ang \u1edf m\u1ed9t n\u01a1i y\u00ean b\u00ecnh v\u1edbi gi\u00f3 m\u00e1t, s\u00f3ng bi\u1ec3n hay b\u1ea5t c\u1ee9 m\u1ed9t khung c\u1ea3nh t\u01b0\u01a1i \u0111\u1eb9p n\u00e0o kh\u00e1c gi\u00fap b\u1ea1n tho\u1ea3i m\u00e3i. H\u00e3y s\u1eed d\u1ee5ng k\u1ef9 thu\u1eadt n\u00e0y th\u01b0\u1eddng xuy\u00ean v\u00e0 b\u1ea1n s\u1ebd th\u1ea5y s\u1ef1 gi\u1eadn d\u1eef c\u1ee7a m\u00ecnh s\u1ebd \u0111\u01b0\u1ee3c ngu\u00f4i ngoai \u0111i r\u1ea5t nhi\u1ec1u \u0111\u1ea5y.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Theo nh\u00e0 t\u00e2m l\u00fd h\u1ecdc T.W. Smith, gi\u1eadn d\u1eef l\u00e0 c\u1ea3m x\u00fac kh\u00f4ng kh\u00f4ng h\u00e0i l\u00f2ng l\u00ean \u0111\u1ebfn \u0111\u1ec9nh \u0111i\u1ec3m, t\u1eeb vi\u1ec7c b\u1ecb ch\u1ecdc t\u1ee9c ho\u1eb7c kh\u00f3 ch\u1ecbu tr\u1edf n\u00ean m\u1ea5t b\u00ecnh t\u0129nh cho \u0111\u1ebfn c\u01a1n th\u1ecbnh n\u1ed9 kh\u00f4ng th\u1ec3 ki\u1ec3m so\u00e1t.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[452],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/masterskills.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40070"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/masterskills.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/masterskills.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/masterskills.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/masterskills.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=40070"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/masterskills.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/40070\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/masterskills.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=40070"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/masterskills.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=40070"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/masterskills.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=40070"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}